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Mouse & Mister

Man's Best Friend

“Not if you were the last man on Earth!”

Mouse winced as the woman slapped Harry hard enough to send him stumbling a few steps. He only vaguely understood what was going on. Harry was trying to find a virgin to use in tempting a demon. His apparent method of finding this information out was really bad. This was the fifth woman to slap Harry in the past hour. Mouse wasn’t sure there was anything he could do to stop it either.

Harry sat back down on the park bench, rubbing at his cheek. “Why couldn’t one of your powers been the ability to smell virgins? And why did Molly have to go on a family vacation this week? And why did that woman have to hit me so hard?” Harry grumbled to himself.

Mouse put his head on his knee and looked apologetically up at him. Harry sighed and ruffled his ears, “It’s not your fault, boy. Apparently, Chicago is virgin-less.”

Mouse thumped his tail against the sidewalk, trying to cheer Harry up by just looking happy. Sometimes he could snap Harry out of dark moods just by looking happy. It didn’t seem to work today. Harry continued to stare out over the park with a frown on his face.

“I have to wait until it’s dark out before I can use Bob.” Harry muttered, “I don’t want to use Bob though. He’ll get me maced or shot or something.”

Mouse had to agree. He heard what Bob said about women and no matter how much bumbling Harry did about this, Bob’s downright lewd language would certainly get Harry in more trouble. He really wished he could help, but sometimes being man’s best friend just wasn’t enough in the face of a virgin-less city.